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A victim of stalking has also described how she was left “mentally tortured” after an older man persistently contacted and followed her over six months.
The two women have told about their experiences as the PSNI publishes a revised framework to align its response to violence against women and girls (VAWG) to that of terrorism and serious and organised crime.
Three women have been murdered in Northern Ireland in the last month, taking the total to 30 women and girls killed by men in the region from 2019.
The former partner of Chelsea Hamilton, 32, was jailed last year for assault, threats to kill and possession of an offensive weapon
Ms Hamilton was subjected to three years of coercive control and physical abuse in her relationship and when she tried to leave, she was shot at with a crossbow that narrowly missed her and physically assaulted for a number of hours.
Her ex-partner, who was training to become a professional MMA fighter at the time, left her with multiple injuries.
She said: “I developed a stutter when speaking to people and began feeling like I wasn’t even a real person.
“There are so many women out there who I know feel the same and are silenced, living in fear. It’s not right.
“Through the police’s action plan, they want more women to come forward and put their trust in them to put their perpetrator in jail. That’s what they did for me.”
She added: “No woman should live their life in constant fear, walking on eggshells and isolated from family and friends. It is no life.
“They make you feel like what they are doing is your fault in some twisted way and that there is a chance you won’t be believed. Well, I was believed and it does get easier.”
Jane, 23 (not her real name) joined a band in the summer of 2022.
Within the band was a 50-year-old man, who for the next six months persistently contacted her online, followed her and her family members, gave her unwanted gifts and threatened to kill himself if she didn’t speak to him.
This year he was charged with stalking and the PSNI secured a Stalking Protection Order, whereby if he made contact with or came near Jane again he would go to jail for the maximum term of five years.
She said: “I was mentally tortured by this man, there was no escape from him.
“When I blocked him, he found another way to contact me online.
“I worked in a local shop at the time and he would follow me there and spend ages in the shop, watching me. He was everywhere.”
She added: “I don’t think enough people understand how this crime affects victims, knowing someone is that obsessed and fixated on you, a person that could be capable of anything, it’s absolutely terrifying.
“He would not take no for an answer.
“I lived my life in fear, constantly looking over my shoulder, terrified even just getting a notification on my phone.”
In September 2022, the PSNI launched its first Tackling Violence against Women and Girls Action Plan using the then national framework for delivery.
Two years on, officers have made 3,025 arrests under new legislation (domestic abuse, stalking and non-fatal strangulation).
They have also put in place two stalking protection orders using new legislation.
Since the VAWG Action Plan was launched, 80 arrests have been made on average each month for the domestic abuse offence, there have been an average of 17 arrests each month for the offences of stalking and threatening and abusive behaviour, with 77 arrests each month for non-fatal strangulation.
In the 12 months to July 2024 there were 22,403 VAWG offences recorded.
A revised framework for the next five years has now been published.
This includes a commitment to a number of actions including a review of previous cases of sexual impropriety and misconduct alleged against PSNI personnel to ensure appropriate investigative actions were taken and developing scrutiny panels for rape “no prosecution” outcomes.
Detective Chief Superintendent Anthony McNally said: “Violence against women and girls and femicide across Northern Ireland and indeed the world is an epidemic, it would be remiss of us as a police service to not fully acknowledge and appropriately respond to that.
“Too many women and girls in Northern Ireland have lost their lives at the hands of men and it has been publicly acknowledged by the Chief Constable and our senior leadership as a whole, that pre-dating our action plan there were shortcomings in our response which is unacceptable.
“Over the last two years we have worked extremely hard at building relationships with key partners, bolstering our training and challenging our own thoughts and behaviours in this space.
“As a result of targeted resourcing and relentlessly pursuing perpetrators we have seen a reduction in VAWG offences and an increase in outcome rates for victims.”
He added: “There is no doubt that we have made significant progress in our efforts but there is more work to be done.
“We know that policing only sees the tip of the iceberg and that there are women and girls out there who are still suffering in silence.
“My message through this action plan would be, please report to us.”
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